Transgender and HIV
Ask the HIV Specialist
What is Sacred?
Save the World?
Prison Tale
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Transgender and HIV
I just finished reading the entire journal cover to cover [July/August 2008]. Great job! You are to be commended for your honesty and integrity, and for daring to broach a subject many people, even in the HIV/AIDS arena, do not want to talk about.
Azella C. Collins, MSN, RN, Chicago Chapter National Black Nurses Association, via the Internet
Thank you for your recent issue related to transgender people and HIV. I have been a fan of PA for years and felt, well, validated by the issue.
Elizabeth Mendia, Executive Director,
Whittier Rio Hondo AIDS Project
Whittier, California
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Ask the HIV Specialist
It was kind, I suppose, for [doctor] Tonia Poteat to answer Itchy and Worried’s question about his chance of getting infected with HIV from a five-second open mouth kiss with a Vietnamese CSW [commercial sex worker] [Ask the HIV Specialist, May/June 2008], but reading about his paranoid worry was annoying and tiresome. It is saddening too, that 25 years into the epidemic a guy is still worrying about catching HIV from a kiss. People with HIV have real stuff to worry about.
Name withheld, via the Internet
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What is Sacred?
Thanks for the wonderful piece on “What is Sacred” [May/June 2005)! Finally, someone who can speak to the possibility that a gay man doesn’t have to respond from his penis—but perhaps should respond from his heart and soul. Do you know of any organizations in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area that are doing similar work of integrating faith and hope into clinical work? By the way, I do bodywork and massage, and can’t tell you how often the first thing I heard from gay men when I tell them what I do is, “Wow! You must really get to see some nice bodies and dicks!” They are serious, and don’t really want to hear about my work. They simply want to hear about the bodies on which I work. I am very tired of hearing that response.
Name withheld, via the Internet
Response from Tony Hollenback: I am humbled by your words and am grateful that you were touched by the article. It gives me hope that as a gay community we can begin to change and create how we see ourselves and how we see each other—our friendships and work, our personal and sexual relationships. Opportunities to connect on a deeper level take the relationship to a very different place. I don’t know anything about the community in the Twin Cities, but will refer several Chicago websites that might be a source of support for you. The Native American communities are very open to embracing and honoring gay men as being “twin spirited,” meaning we carry the male and female energy. You might want to check online to see if you can find a local Native American tribe, medicine man or woman, sweat lodge, etc. This would be a wonderful source of sacred community honoring who you are as a gay man. Let me know if I can be of any help to you in your journey. I have my own private practice and lead sacred circles and retreats, as well as individual work.
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Save the World
Thanks ever so much for your column in TheBody.com [Editor’s Note, “Four Minutes to Save the World,” May/June 2008]. As a 22-year survivor, I’m consistently disheartened by the nonexistence of media advocacy for HIV-related issues these days. Where are the visible spokespeople? I’m currently working with a group of guys in our local stop-in support group with the idea of coming up with events to focus attention on HIV, and I must say I’m astounded by some of the conversation among some of the members. Sometimes the lack of concern leaves me feeling angry and confused. Likewise, as an African American, I’m bothered by both the climbing rates of infection and the denial that surrounds the black community. I think a very commercial, sexy approach to HIV awareness is of the utmost priority if we’re ever to reach the bulk of humanity. The movement has lost lots of steam since the early days of ACT UP, but let’s hope apathy doesn’t win out. As you say, there’s too much at stake. Yours is a great article that I will certainly share with the guys in our group.
Ben, New York City,
via the Internet
On January 3rd of this year, I tested HIV-positive. My whole world changed on that day, and not for the worse. Yes, while learning to understand the complexity of this illness and how to treat it and keep my body clean and healthy, I also realized that the stigma of HIV still exists and, surprisingly, more so among HIV-negative men—go figure. I read your article on the TheBody.com and I am here to tell you that if you need some new blood to help change the perception of his illness—I am here for you! While I’m still educating myself on what to expect as time goes on, I truly believe that half the problem of living through this is how others perceive us, and that infuriates me! I lost a good friend over my diagnosis. He is a 40-year-old gay, HIV-negative man living in N.Y.C. I’m not really sure what happened. Maybe it was his fear of having someone so close to him get the news, maybe it was his fear of even talking about the disease. I feel that open dialogue about this among people of all status is important. I have been going to an HIV support group meeting at the Gay and Lesbian Center here in NYC since two weeks into my diagnosis. What I’ve learned most about being there and sharing stories is that some of the older gentlemen in my group who have been living with this for years and years are stuck in the perception of themselves and how this disease has changed them, but I am also hearing that they are sick and tired of what others say and feel about it. The fact is, HIV has changed dramatically over the years. It is not the same disease as it was back in the late ’80s and ’90s. It has taken me a while to realize that, but I am confident that the treatment methods that are out there today can continue our longevity well into our old age, and then some. Don’t we all just want to live happy, healthy, and productive lives? For a long time, I was ignorant of STDs and all that is out there, and what I can and cannot catch through risky behavior. (Risky behavior = bad consequences, regardless!) For a long time I felt invincible. If I didn’t feel sick or have any symptoms of anything, then I was fine. Wrong!
How can we change peoples’ opinions, or rather their perception, of this disease? Yes, there is more education in the school system than ever before and that is great. There are also groups popping up all over the place that provide a safe haven for people both negative and positive to get educated and help educate others. Do we need to establish more groups to help focus the attention on educating negative gay men on this disease, maybe have some positive moderators to help answer their questions? I do admit, before my diagnosis I was afraid to talk about STDs and HIV, but like it or not, this is a big part of our community, and to help our community continue to live and thrive and be healthy, more needs to be done. I enjoyed reading your note and I implore you to continue that message as I will try and do the same.
Ryan Halpner, New York City,
via the Internet
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Prison tale
I am an HIV-positive person currently incarcerated. I am trying to get the prison to start a support group for persons here who are HIV-positive. HIV/AIDS is still a taboo topic in prison, even by those who are living with the disease. I’m trying to gather as much information as I can for myself and the soon-to-be support group.
Before my incarceration I worked as an outreach worker for Prevention Point (needle exchange) and GALAEI (Gay and Lesbian AIDS Education Initiative), both in Philadelphia. I identify as an African American heterosexual male who has been living with HIV since 1994. I don’t know when I became infected, who gave it to me, or how I got it. For five years I lived in denial, having the time of my life sleeping with some beautiful women, gorgeous transvestites, and prostitutes all over. All of this happened after I found out I was HIV-positive, and I was doing all this sexing unprotected. I was dealing drugs and traveling to some wonderful places. I wasn’t a drug addict, so in the so-called “hood” I was what they call a ghetto superstar. Well, I ended up going to prison and realizing that if I didn’t change my life I was going to die. So, I took advantage of all the organizations in Philadelphia available for HIV-positive people. Through those agencies I got my own apartment for the first time, I got all the help I needed emotionally, and I even took a class at Philadelphia FIGHT called Project TEACH, which I graduated from. I must tell you that was my first time graduating from anything. Some of the things that happened for me are unbelievable. Working at the homeless shelter, doing outreach work, and speaking at Temple University with Magic Johnson. Even though he didn’t show up, it was just an honor to be on the same program. This may sound crazy, but HIV saved my life. If I had never found out I was infected, I would be still living that same destructive lifestyle. Presently I am incarcerated for something I did prior to my 180-degree turn around from quote unquote “street thug” to AIDS activist. I want you to let all the people living with this disease know that we are in this together! I know you’ve heard plenty of stories like mine and it may not seem any more unique than anyone else’s story. Well, it’s unique to me because I lived it. Keep up the good work.
Larry Watson, White Deer, PA
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